Knocking
So before a traditional marriage can take place you have to do a knocking. Knocking or ‘kokooko‘ is a symbol of respect in the direction of unifying two families. The groom has to come with his family member, probably his dad if not then uncle or a man in his family. This has to happen before the traditional.
Traditional
To start, the family has two spokesmen; they are usually men and they will speak on behalf of the families. The two families will sit opposite each other. Both families will introduce themselves. The groom's family will ask the bride's family for her hand in marriage and they will explain why they are there lots of talking. Etc. The groom and his family bring gifts which are given to the bride and her family. The groom has to come with an engagement ring and a white bible. The groom also has to give gifts to the bride’s siblings if she has any. The bride also receives a dowry. The gifts are a suitcase full of lace and Kente cloth (also a separate cloth for the in laws), sewing machine, and alcohol and you have to bring schnapps(needs to be this brand apparently) The amount of money is never mentioned because they don’t want it to sound like they are selling their daughter. This is depending on your family I guess but people either bring some ‘fake brides' and present them to the groom. It is basically banter. It will be either the bride's siblings or friends and they will say this is your bride and the groom will say no until the bride finally enters.
The second version is the bride enters in with her friends or siblings covered in a veil. They will then ask the bride if this is the guy that you want to marry. He has brought all this stuff saying he wants to marry you should we take this stuff or tell him to go back home. They will ask the bride this three times she will say yes all three times hopefully. Once this is accepted they bring the bible and exchange the rings if you have a spokesperson that too de talk he will give a mini-sermon. The groom and the bride’s family will also give advice to the couple. Prepare your mind, as some aunties can be wild!!! There is a prayer at the end and you are now husband and wife.
P.S At the end the money and the Schnapps is shared amongst the bride’s family this is to show that a wedding took place and for them to bear witness. This doesn’t happen now as typically the couple keeps the money.
Choice of Kente
The Kente cloth colours actually mean something. Blue apparently means harmony, green means growth, yellow/gold means money/ wealth. Don’t know the rest. However, now people just pick whatever colour they like or will pop in a perfect Instagram post.